Life can be hard sometimes, no doubt about it. All the time, we are faced with difficulties and challenges that seem to have no justice in occurring. In other words, life is unfair. We can't change that. Stuff happens. The one thing we can change however, is how we cope with these struggles. Keep reading to see how I am working on this aspect of my own life, and how you can take my experience and apply it to yourself.
By Ava Kesler
You are the one constant in your life
Throughout all the challenges you will face, whether that be with your schoolwork or friends, there will always be one person out there who has your back, and that person is yourself.
It is very important to have supportive friends and family, but you can get into arguments with them, and it can really hurt. No matter what, you will always have yourself, and you have to honor that.
When I get into fights with my loved ones, it is so easy to just crumble on the spot. After all, without them by my side, who even am I?
This is such an easy trap to fall into, and I really warn against it. If you can't even comfort yourself and remember that you are worth something, then it is honestly impossible for you to have a healthy relationship with anyone. So you have to get through this barrier before you can conquer new ones.
Recharge yourself- nap, study, exercise
After the emotional trauma that you have gone through, you can't expect yourself to be able to just blink and get back to life as it was. You must give yourself some time to recover and come back to your senses.
My best advice is to either take a nap, do school work, or exercise. Each of these have a certain purpose, and which one you choose depends on what exactly is going on.
Right after a struggle, napping can help clear your mind. Then if you get anxious, I find school work helps set me back on track, giving me a familiar routine and something to put all my energy on. Finally, exercise is a great way to get your blood rushing and helps deal with any lasting feelings of anger you might have.
I find that a combination of the three yields best results.
Give yourself a nice spa night. Nothing fancy required, just shower, brush your hair, maybe take a hot bath too. Essentially, at this point in the recovery, you need to show yourself some love. If you have someone reliable, take this time to have a little counseling session.
If you were the wronged party in the issue, then remind yourself of all of your accomplishments and how you are not going to let this problem hold you back.
If the problem was partially your fault, take some time to think about where you went wrong and how you can improve and grow from this in the future.
At this point, you have hopefully emotionally recovered, at least to the extent at which you can now think rationally. It is at this stage that you need to make a plan for moving forward.
In particular, how are you planning to approach the issue and resolve it?
It is important here to identify if you need this person in your life. Do they make you happy? Do you get anything beneficial out of the relationship? Or do you find yourself trying to avoid them? Does your mood worsen when you are around them?
These are all very hard questions, but do not get discouraged. They will be extremely helpful as they allow for a rational, logical flow of thoughts.
Half the battle to being the best person you can be is simply mastering yourself. If you have confidence and are happy with your situation, then you can conquer anything.
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