By Ava Kesler
We often look for belonging and friend groups, constantly worrying about having someone to talk to. We desire a friend so much, that we often overlook what kind of friend they are. Anyone who addresses you has the potential to earn your respect, but desperation can cause you to build a relationship with someone who does not deserve it.
This is what causes "toxic relationships." After all, why else would you become friends with someone who is actually not someone you should associate with. Desperation is a dangerous thing to develop.
The first step to avoiding this dilemma is finding happiness within yourself. You must learn to be content alone before you can be content with someone else.
Looking to someone else for your happiness puts you in a vulnerable position in which you have no control. If that friend is having a bad day, or if you eventually drift apart, you could end up suffering more than necessary. This places your self-control in the hands of someone else, completely defeating the point of it.
Valuing yourself, having self-respect, knowing your strengths- these are all ways to gain independence of happiness.
Friendships are a great way to maintain happiness, and they serve an essential point of social interactions. But it's important to remember that happiness ultimately depends on you.
When you stop desiring people in your life, even theoretical people, to make you happy, you will gain a sense of freedom and weightlessness to carry you in everything you do.
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