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Fake Friends: What are they and how to deal with them

Updated: Mar 18, 2022

By Ava Kesler

We always hear about "fake friends" and it seems that everyone can tell you to avoid them. Easier said than done.

By definition, a fake friend is someone who acts like your friend, but really isn't. They have inner intentions or sentiments against you. The hard part is they often cover up these negative feelings pretty well. That's why so many of us get hurt by who we consider to be our friends. We don't realize they were fake until they've already hurt us to an inexcusable extreme.

In this article, I am going to broadly cover my own experience with what I consider to be fake friends so that you all can hopefully relate to it and decide on a course of action if you are having doubts about someone.

A fake friend does not become fake overnight. There are a series of events that lead to the ultimatum that ends a friendship.

  1. Red Flag #1

The very first red flag you get is definitely legitimate. If anything, this is the most important red flag of them all. The first time you feel something's off means that you have gotten over that initial fascination phase. This is like the first impression.

You can find tons of information on what a red flag is. But red flags are really a case by case basis.

Ultimately a red flag should be considered anything that bothers you. Anything at all that makes you upset, doubt their sincerity, feel unwanted or unloved, or overall just put you in a bad mood is a red flag.

2. Is it worth it?

After the first red flag, you have to ask yourself if it's worth it. This boils down to your own values and morals. You need to ask yourself if however much they hurt you is worth ending a friendship over. I don't mean googling it to see what other's think. I mean asking yourself if it's worth staying friends with them or not.

Don't get caught up in whatever people might call petty or not a big deal.

You're feelings are valid.

3. Cool Down

Don't make any decisions on what to do next until you've had some time to cool down.

Wait a few days to evaluate the first two steps and decide how you want to act next.

For example, this could be cutting off these people from your life with a confrontation, or just gradually distancing yourself.


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